


bartender, one more for the road

by bayaningbituon



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22522789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bayaningbituon/pseuds/bayaningbituon
Summary: and after this one, i promise i'll goHe wrinkles his forehead, looking at David in confusion. “Cute neighbor?” he slurs, looking between David and the interior of the apartment. “What are you doing in my apartment?”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 13
Kudos: 163
Collections: Goshi Sprinkle Prompt Fics





	bartender, one more for the road

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to the real bois, haven't read Richard Siken yet but i will soon!
> 
> The prompt was: tried breaking into my flat when they were drunk because they thought it was theirs AU.
> 
> Enjoy this unbetaed little ficlet!

David is just settling in with a glass of chardonnay and a new book he was reading, of poetry by Richard Siken, when he hears scratching sounds coming from the front door. He eyes the door nervously, before shaking his head and turning back to the page, thinking that it’s probably a neighbor that accidentally brushed against the door. 

However, the scratching evolves into curses filtering through the wooden door and some thumps. David sets his wine down cautiously, closing the book and setting it down on the sofa as he stands. He walks over to the door and peeps through the peephole.

All he can see is a head of curls, but that sight is familiar enough to make his heart skip a beat. _It’s cute neighbor_ , he thinks to himself. _What is he doing?_

He hesitates, hand on the doorknob, and wonders if he should just ignore him. But a voice in his head, a voice sounding entirely too much like Alexis, tells him, _oh my god, just open the door David! He’s way too cute not to_. And he turns the knob and opens the door, causing cute neighbor to stumble forward.

“Oof,” David grunts as he finds himself with an armful of cute neighbor. 

The cute neighbor leans his head back and steps back a little. His cheeks are ruddy and eyes just glassy enough for David to know that cute neighbor is completely wasted. 

He wrinkles his forehead, looking at David in confusion. “Cute neighbor?” he slurs, looking between David and the interior of the apartment. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

David feels himself smile unbidden at the words, and a warmth rises in his belly. He chuckles before gesturing at the interior of the apartment. “This is actually my apartment, but thank you so much for calling me cute neighbor.”

His neighbor shakes his head stubbornly, walking around David as he closes the door behind him. “Nononono,” he denies, his no’s slurring into one long protest. “This is—this is definitely my apartment. I think.”

David swallows back a laugh as he follows his neighbor stumbling around his living room. “Okay,” he steadies the man as he bumps into the side of the couch. “Why don’t we—why don’t we sit down?” He sits them both down as the other man cranes his neck around the room. 

“See, this is my couch,” the man says triumphantly to him. The smile turns into a frown as he points an accusing finger entirely too close to David’s face. “But my baseball mitt is gone, why would you—why would you take it?”

David gently grasps the finger and draws it down, covering the hand with his own. “Okay, well, we’re in _my_ apartment, so this,” he gestures with his free hand, “is _my_ couch, and I don’t _do_ baseball, so.”

He looks at the flushed face of his neighbor, the confused furrow of his eyebrow and the cute curls peeking from underneath his hat, the pout forming on his lips, and bites back a fond smile. “What’s your name? Maybe I can help you get to your apartment?”

The man’s eyes narrow in suspicion, even as he continues to fidget absently with David’s hand that had lowered his finger. “How do I know you’re not a secret agent? You look like James Bond.”

David tosses his head back in a tinkling laugh, feeling completely and utterly charmed by the man sitting next to him. “I can assure you I’m not. I’m David, David Rose.”

“See, you even introduced yourself like James Bond.” He deepens his voice to imitate Sean Connery. “I’m James, James Bond.”

David has to shake his head. “No, nope, nope, incorrect. It’s _Bond, James Bond_ , last name first. Daniel Craig was very _very_ strict about that.”

The cute neighbor blinks slowly, absorbing the information, before grinning dopily. “Oh yeah! Then,” and he deepens his voice again, “I’m Brewer, Patrick Brewer.” He then breaks off into giggles, bright bubbles of laughter that sink into David’s belly, feeling like flutters of butterfly wings.

“Alright, Patrick Brewer, you have your keys? I can help you get into your _actual_ apartment,” David teases.

Patrick pats his pockets absently, and then with increasing drunk alarm. “I don’t—I don’t know where they are!” He turns out his coat pockets, then stands in a sway and shoves his hands deep into his pockets. David flinches back at the abrupt movement and the sudden crotch in his face.

David stands and grabs Patrick by the shoulders softly. “Hey, that’s completely fine, okay Patrick?” He guides Patrick back down to the couch and grabs his throw blanket from the back of the couch. He lays the blanket around Patrick’s shoulders and continues, “You can stay here for tonight and then we’ll figure it out in the morning, okay?” 

Patrick blinks owlishly up at him, grinning dazedly. “You’re a very nice cute neighbor, David.”

David feels a pleased flush crawling up his neck, and he shakes his head minutely, a half-smile on his face. “You’re probably going to regret this in the morning, but on the off-chance you don’t, I can’t wait for this conversation in the morning.”

Patrick grabs David’s hand and says solemnly, “I’m drunk, but you’ve been cute neighbor for months, so I can’t wait either.”

For a beat, all they do is stare at each other, before David shakes his head, completely charmed. “Okay then, in the morning it is.” He leans down and grabs his book and drink and walks towards his room. He turns as he reaches the door to his room, and as he turns off the light, he looks one last time at the huddled form of Patrick, formerly known as cute neighbor, on his couch. 

It’s a good image, like the beginning of something new and exciting and _right_.

“Good night,” he says softly, turning out the light.

“G’night,” Patrick mumbles, and David closes the door behind him.


End file.
